Why don't you lick my ass and tell me what I had for lunch?

Welcome to an all new rant about random shit. Hell, you know this is the only reason you come here...besides the videos.

Guess what motherfackos? Since nobody wants to help with the god damn site(besides me and Rhydant), everybody's FIRED. Yep, you heard me. Get the fuck out. You don't contribute, you just get to have yer name on a page you don't do shit for. PEACHES NO LOVE U FAGGIT HAHAAH!!!11 So, that means that we're taking anything from anybody. You wanna write up an article? Want to rant 'n' rave bout shit? You figure you can do badass game reviews? Wanna do up some fan art and send it in? Hell, we'll take videos too...just send anything you can do(we're down to host damn near ANYTHING)to me at with an email header of "Pimp-Productions Stuff" and we'll see whassup. BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE.

Ok, let's get down to buisness...

Aiight. So there I was, browsin the net for random shit, figurin' I'd be able to get in some decent conversations with people about DDR/PiU/etc. But, for some reason I ended up back at that shithole of the Northwest, www.ddrseattle.com and it's forums. Now, I know...I did an article making fun of these asstards last time. But hear me out.

When traversing their forums, and you see somethin like this, it's on:

Posted by UnblinkingEye:

Re: Will o the Wisp Divergence Mode
Quote:
-howd you do? I myself have yet to pass it..wait, now that I think of it I've never even tried it, should try it next time.- I usually never let go of the bar when I'm playing Pump, so when 3 arrows at once come up, I just hit 2 arrows with one foot, and one with the other. Holiday is a song comprised of about 20-25% triples, with 8th note runs tightly packed inbetween, so yeah, good luck :P


Yeah, you read that right. "I usually never let go of the bar when I'm playing Pump..." So there I am, sitting at the pc in utter amazement of this abomination. But, as classy as I am, I figured that I'd be a little frank about it and not post a reply as he would probably be emotionally distressed over it. So after around a month, I posted this topic just to see what kind of feedback I would get. Hell, maybe I would even get some insight as to why people whore the bar.

Posted by PimpProductions
Gonna do an article on dancing games, and i'd figure that i would go and get some info from the players of PiU and DDR about why they whore the bar. Always wanted to know what causes this, why they do it, why they think it's cool when they beat a hard song whoring the bar(when they could do it standing up if they had any self confidence), etc.

feel free to fill me in guys, i'd love to get a discussion started on this.

peace
MrWhitefolks


Now see? Didn't that just seem like I wanted to get a good conversation started? Ok, so I was a little bit of a dick, but hey? Who'da thought I'd get a response like this, from the same guy from above?

Posted by UnblinkingEye:

Re: Why do you hold the bar?
Quote:
Gonna do an article on dancing games, and i'd figure that i would go and get some info from the players of PiU and DDR about why they whore the bar. Always wanted to know what causes this, why they do it, why they think it's cool when they beat a hard song whoring the bar(when they could do it standing up if they had any self confidence), etc. Your article is going to suck whether or not you have any "info", so you might as well just turn in a receipt or something, it will undoubtedly be more interesting than anything you have to say (because you're an idiot, etc).


Hmmm...sounds just like when people called Tom Selleck gay to me. Dude gets all pissy and doesn't even try to answer the question, just starts flinging insults. THIS is exactly why I consider almost every bar whore/DDR player complete and utter fucking douchebags. Big ass community of assclowns that give each other reach-arounds if they complete some maniac song even when holding the bar. I mean, for Christ's sake. Can you fucks even DANCE? It is called "Dance Dance Revolution". Not "Look at me! I'm Christopher Reeves!". Oh, and whassup with you fuckers bitchin' about smoking? "OMG! IT'S SOOOOOOoooOooOoOOoOOOooOOOOooooo ANNOYING! I'M SO GONNA GET LUNG CANCER FROM YOU!"

Hey, EAT A DICK. Whiny ass pussy fucks. I'll do freestyle on Doubles( I actually dance on a "dancing" game, who'da thought?) THEN I'll go and do Crazy Step mode and beat Mr.Larpus -without- holding the bar and get a B, and even THEN I can still go back and play Hard Mode with a SMOKE IN MY MOUTH and have no problem. Shut the fuck up you bastardized fetuses of soccer moms gone horribly wrong.

Go watch your fuckin anime, drink some 'pop', and hold hands ya' whiny fuckin bitches.




Jesus christ I hate those people. Buncha fags havin' a coffee party.

*looks around*

Oh, my bad...

Coffee Party
Adj. Used in describing Northwest DDR players, and flaming homosexuals:

[Example] Why don't you fags go in the bathroom and play with the brown.(i.e...a coffee party)

....Ok, prep the website for "get ready to be sued for slander" mode....

Fuck shoryuken.com. Fuck their system. Fuck their tourneys. Fuck their forum goers(for the most part). Fuck their "Donate money to us so we can use it to host tournaments/fund this page, and we'll give you a nifty icon for your name when you post on our gay ass forum!" bullshit. Fuck their in house combo videos. Fuck the assclowns that steal strats and do videos on it and get credit for it. Fuck 'em till they beg for donkey punches. Then pull it out and give em a Filthy Sanchez. God damn forum is filled with nothin but n00bs that suck the dick of whoever's the top dog or whatever is the new strat at the mo'. F.O.B talk and worthless opinions are all that happen nowadays. "CABLE IS CHEAP" "NA-UH! SENTS NU TRAP IS DA BOM YO" "HEY! I LIEK 2 WATCH FRIENDS ON ABC! DATS TiTE!'

*slams face into desk as hard as possible*

-in other news-

Hmm....seems that tnl.com is down for maintenance. Tight. Less time I gotta spend hearing the over zealous uber dorks tellin' people how hardcore they are and why every god damn good game sucks. Whiney ass overweight fucks that resemble the comic book guy from the Simpsons(and or the Critic) in a trenchcoat and have a real bad case of acne or mini-penis. Stop hyping up shitty shooters. We don't care if you have a raspberry smoothie in Animal Crossing. And for the love of God quit telling people that DoA3 is better than TTT you tards. If you played about 10% of the time you spent flaming shit online, you might understand the game and wouldn't call it a "button masher".

YOU ARE ALL WORTHLESS BITTER LITTLE SHITS.

Oh, and if somehow, someone reads this...I would love for you fucks to address the hatemail to me personally. I don't want to have to hear about you shits trying to mock this site in your little internet forum groups and not having enough balls to tell me straight up. Especially you little shits(you know who you are)from the TNL forums. Biggest bunch of pussies I've ever seen online. EVER.

....shuts off "get ready to be sued for slander" mode....
Ok, back to the game news. Tight. Uh.....yeah. Is it me? Or does Capcom's Fighting All-Stars look like ass? Not in the literal sense, but in premise. I mean shit, ALL STARS? It has the equivelant of WWE jobbers on the roster and only like what, 16 characters? WTF?! We've got the transvestite hooker, the biker girl, the Ryu clone from RS, Chun-li, Ryu, Alex, Adon, Haggar, Rose(wtf?!), Charlie, and Strider-Hiryu...plus 3 new peeps. Maybe I missed a few names, but that's the gist of it right now.

*Thinks it over*

Man that is one SHITTY list of characters for an All-Star fighting game. Especially from someone with the plethora of characters like Capcom. Shit, why don't I just do up my own god damn list? Sounds good to me figuring that they probably just let some asstard in a tinfoil helmet come up with the roster they have now. I'm gonna go for a list of 20, and give a few reasons. Might as well get some debate shit goin on about it(yeah, like anybody ever reads this shit...you attention whores go straight for the videos. ^_^)

-MrWhitefolks Capcom's Fighting All-Star Roster-
Ryu/Ken/Gouki(you already know why...if these guys aren't in the game, the fobs won't play)

Chun-li(if she's not in, the fobs' girlfriends will go play Bust-A-Move instead)

Zangief(can we finally make him look badass for once in 3d instead of having him look like a fuckin' circus freak?)

Guile(fuck Nash/Charlie in the mouth)

Cammy(yeah...hotness in 3d, with the crazy "uber anime" voice from CvS2)

*oh...btw; FUCK MEGAMAN.*

Tiffany Lords(at least put in someone cool from Rival Schools....and I'm talkin the original outfit, bike shorts suck ASS)

Felicia(yeah, catgirls > used up vampire hookers)

Gutsman/Cutsman(the REAL pimps from MegaMan1)

Kairi(from Ex3...he's badass)

Blair Dame(from Ex+@)/AllenSnyder(from Ex+@)

*ponders*

Ya know what? Fuck the dumb shit. Pull a Tecmo and put in like every hot bitch from every Capcom series ever into a 3d fighter and have the last boss be someone like Dan. Chunli,Felicia,Morrigan,Lillith,TronBonne,Devilot,June,R.Mika,Cammy,MoMo,Sakura,Hinata,Michelle Heart,Saki,Pur and Fur,Maki,Blair,Mai Shiraunui(hey, after CvS1+2, she should be property of Capcom...they know how to advance a character's look unlike with KoF)and all the other half naked bitches from whatever games they did in the 80's too. That'd be the fuckin' shit. I'd pay top dollar for a game from the big C in full 3d with assloads of hoes beatin' the hell out of each other in the chance to fight Dan and prove to the world that he couldn't beat a girls ass even if he got PAID too.

-AND WHY THE FUCK DO THE ENDINGS IN TEKKEN 4 SUCK SO MUCH ASS?-

How the fuck did they do that? HOW? It doesn't make any sense. Namco, the only fucking company that one-ups Squaresoft in terms of CG quality has some of the WORST god damn CG endings in Tekken4(I really hope that someone fills me in and tells me those abominations are in game). Here, if you don't believe me...go thru the game with Christie. Yeah. Now your eyes are damaged for life(as well as your ears from the 'awesome' voice acting...EH-DEE).

Oh by the way, WHO the hell told Namco it'd be a good idea to put in walls, and let the characters walk like it's DoA3? What? We're they actually listening to those dumbfucks at EGM that bitch about it being the same game every year(ironically, they now bitch that it doesn't feel the same)? Did they actually find an article written in GameFan where Eric Mylonas(the biggest pussy in the world, just ask anyone in the industry) lamblasts the game and declared Tecmo's DoA2 the best fighter ever made? Holy christ on a stick covered in the vaginal warts of a Vietnamese hooker. Someone go tell Namco to not fuck it up next time. Better yet....show them a copy of Street Fighter 2, then show them a copy of Street Fighter Alpha 3 and they'll understand that if it ain't broke, you don't fix it. Unless it's Tomb Raider.

Aiight bitches, until next time...

MrWhitefolks

p.s... NOTE TO SNK: That guy you got doin' the art for 2k2? Fire him. Dude draws like he has aids.
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