Straight from the dizzome...

Well, I'm back(yeah...again) and I've got me some shit to rant/rave bout tonight....
Now, I know what your thinkin, what else could I hate/laugh/talk shit about? I've damn near covered everything to how white people suck ass, to otakus and shitty nes games, so what else do I have on the table?

D...D...R

Yeah, that's right. Dance Dance fucking Revolution. The game where people that want to think they're cool try to get as technical as possible while marching in place. Come the fuck on now, we all know that DDR is a good way to get exercise, but to put it bluntly...it makes you look like an ass. DDR is NOT a game where you look cool. I don't care if your from Seattle, California, Japan, etc...you still look like a retarded scarecrow with cerebral palsey. I see alot of DDR players that are in it just for fun, which is cool. No clowns on them. But you niggas(yeah, you know who you are) that take this shit seriously and try to be all "hip" just ain't cuttin it. Yes, YOU the white boy with the silk shirt, slack pants, and spiked up hair. Yes YOU, the retard that thinks stepping in sucession getting 300 perfects makes you look appealing to the crowd. Yes YOU the non rhythm having jackass that makes the majority of the otakus up here look like the Rock Steady Crew. And Yes YOU mufucka, the one that tries your damndest to look cool, to march and spin, to show off in the big arcades, the one that goes to STYLE tourneys and looks like a glorified ASS-HAT.

Let's get one fucking thing straight, DDR is not a game of style. I don't give a FUCK if you have videos of the top style players in Cali/Japan. I'll go out, find a 13yr old Korean Pump player, and they'll make you look stupid on your own fucking game(hell, they play both, they're not assjockeys like the elitist DDR peeps, but I'll get to that in a little bit). Hell, I could do it. Now that I think about it, I have. Could I do it now? Maybe...I'd prolly need about 2 weeks worth of practice to get a routine down(considering I work 5 days a week) and I'd take your ego, stuff it in a toilet, and flush the fucker down the "love abode". I have only seen 3 style people/crews on DDR that have....

....E-V-E-R impressed me(coming from a style based game background like PUMP and how I play DDR/EZ2Dancer for style).

1)ChangoLand...what they lack in actual dancing style, they make up for in originality, and might I add, it's funny as all living shit. TCL! TCL! TCL!

2)Some korean crew I snagged a vid of online. Awesome doubles routine to AfroNova(on DDR usa, mind you) with break dance moves that matched the music.

3)Some of the peeps down here that breakdance and play DDR as a side hobby. They took to it fairly slow, but intergrated their tricks quick as shit.


-Part Deux, Bitches-

Now, let's clear some more stuff up about what's style and what ISN'T. If you go to a style tourney in an OUTFIT and dance with a partner(especially to something like Dub I Dub or Boom Boom Dollar), that is NOT style. If you get on a machine, and try to be one of the backup dancers to Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch, that is NOT style. If you also then FAIL the song you were playing(most likely Stomp to my Beat) then not only do you have NO style, but you are fuckin corny. If you have matching outfits with your best friend and talk about Japan inbetween games of DDR(the mention of a "trip" to Japan to play DDR gets this award for free), you automatically OWE style to the rest of us. If you start up the song by jumping over the bar/handguard...that is NOT style. If you fall on your face, but hit the first step of the song with your forehead and are concious enuf to keep going, that IS style(it goes under unorthodoxed innovation). If you play because you want to be popular/into what's "in"...well, then your a douchebag.

What is style? Comming up with a routine to a song. Doing somethin on the fly doesn't work. Practicing at your routine and varying it with new tricks/pops/locks/moves IS style. Using groundwork/uprock IS style. Keeping in tune with the beat and your body movements IS style. HAVING RHYTHM IS STYLE.

-Interesting, ain't it?-

See where I'm going with this? Most people that play these games have no rhythm(and therefore by default, are usually of the white/dork/otaku genre)and that is why they never branch out from doing "tech" and mastering the "maniac" version of some dumbass song instead of going out on a limb and trying to do style/eminate what they see and integrate it into their already lacking "style"(if you want to call looking like the loser marching band kid from high school "style"). Nope, they also only stick to one game. While the rest of us try our damndest(pardon my spelling, I've got a phat buzz goin on)to get new ideas/experiences from playing D-I-F-F-E-R-E-N-T dancing games(like uh...pump,ez 2 dancer,para para,etc) and learning from what we play to use in whatever game we play full time, I constantly run into the shallow minded ass-clowns that tell me how "Pump sucks" or "EZ2 Dancer sucks" or (get this...) "they stole that from Konami, so they suck". Now, I'm all good and happy with you having an opinion, but having one that isn't fully fuckin validated due to inexperience and having no balls to try anything new leaves me to believe that you fuckers are what I've nicknamed the "mooleys" of dance games. You know who you are. The "elite" DDR(the more I think about this, only DDR players are like this) player that won't play anything other than what their Konami gives them. Someone who instantly hates on anything not DDR, anything NOT "japanese", and almost most importantly, anything with style.

You guys/gals are the ones that make playing dancing games un-enjoyable. You are the ones that watch someone play and go "feh...I can get a 300chain perfect on Paranoia Rebirth Doubles on Maniac, who cares if they can do something cool on this shitty game"(most likely referring to something other than DDR) while the person on the game is playing. YOU are the person that we all make fun of and talk shit about. You, my dork of all dorks, is the one that nobody wants to talk to, watch, listen to, or even be near. You are T-H-E mufuckin nigga that pisses everybody off around you. If assault wasn't illegal, I'm damn sure you'd get the shit kicked out of you just like you did in Jr. High and High School. You are usually also the one that walks around trying to tell everybody how badass you are and spill your knowledge of all things "DDR" to the newbies and convince them that tech is better than actually getting the most out of a dancing game by aquiring style and therefore doing what the game is called.

Ready? I'm gonna help you understand what the title of the game MEANS. Read slowly and re-read as nessecary...

DANCE(yeah...that's one)-DANCE(hey, just again incase your dumb-tech-ass couldn't pick up the *hint*)-REVOLUTION(that means something new, or to innovate/think differently than everybody else).

Terrible

Fucking

Players

Lesson learned? Style should be attempted by all, even if you don't have any...you sure as hell can get it thru experience/practice. Tech makes you look like a para-palegic without his wheelchair trying to do the hokie pokee, and being "elite" just ends up with you having 2 friends and everybody hating you.

Easy shit to understand, ain't it?


Peace

Mr-mufuckin-Whitefolks


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