The new fucking rant...welcome to the club. I hate you.

 Ok, guess what I ran into today? No, not another anime fanbody DDR player. Something worse....

Far worse.

What I ran into today was the worst an educated gamer like myself can run into. Cross an otaku fanboy, a "I'm hardcore cause I post on message boards!" nerd, and trenchcoat wearin' douches and you get this:

The uber fanboy nerd extraordinaire. This gamer only plays fighters that others say 'have depth'(i.e..VF4). They only play Soul Calibur 2's conquest mode. They suck at the Initial D arcade racer. They suck at all fighters. They have biased opinions based on absolutely nothing other than the workings of their fanboy message boards. No opinion is their own. Nor can they validate any they make.

So I'm kickin it at the local arcade/bowlin alley(gotta get my PiU on) and after a few rounds of dancin, I jump over on Super Bishi Bashi Champ(which might I add, is the best arcade party game ever made). So out of the corner of my ear I hear some nerds playin VF4 talking about frames, side step timing, moves with priority, etc. So I turn around and watch for a second...noticing that neither of these kids(a fat black kid and a trenchcoat wearin white dork with his bangs 'frosted white' so he looks like that asstard from Yu-Gi-Oh! or whatver) have any god damn skill in said game.

So I'm sittin there, watchin them flub up every attempt at any move they try(the black kid is rotating the stick 360 while jamming on punch...jesus christ) but somehow the white kid finally wins and starts talking about how advanced he is compared to any of his friends in fighting games.


I AM TEH BESTEST

Ya know what? Screw describing them. Here's how you will differentiate them from now on:

White kid = WN(erd)
Black kid = BN(erd)

Up goes the quarter(it's only 25cent here) and BN tells me to watch out because his friend has been studying this game on Japanese VF4 websites, and that he has full knowledge of the game, it's physics, blah blah-motherfuckin-blah. Only thing I say before I hit start is "yep". WN picks Kagemaru, I grab Sarah(meanwhile BN goes "oooo! ninja power! you better watch out dude!"). Match starts, I own him straight across the board with high low mix up, stance switching, buffered grabs, and some sick ass fuckin juggles. WN, in total shock declares that Sarah is for 'noobs'(he actually said noob) and that I should learn a real mans character like Akira.

Little does WN know that I am specifically adept at using Akira in juggles for instant damage....
Match 2 goes underway and is over before he can see what I did(stomach stun, launcher, 3 hit shoulder combo). Now the nerd's ego has been damage. This time I'm "cheap" for using such "easy" combos. So, what do I do? I give him a chance to show ME some of his 'advanced strats/combos' with my game.

.........

Yeah, advanced strats means jamming on punch and doing the double jumpkicks. He then says he can do any combo I can, only better. BUT ONLY if he had his PS2 controller. My response?

"Nigga shut the fuck up. You don't know dick about this game. All you know is what those nerds online tell you."


I R TEH SUCK

-keep in mind that he was completely stunned and had no idea that I have full understanding about what goes on within an otaku fanboy/nerd msg board-

Me = 2
Nerds = 0

BN instantly jumps to his friends defense telling me that he'll "whip my ass" in any fighting game I choose.

-Yeah, be sure to read above about how BN was spinning the joystick while mashing buttons on VF4-

I tell BN that it's his choice. I'll take him in anything here and that he's lucky there isn't a Karate Champ machine available.

I am the KING of Karate Champ and don't you fuckin forget it bitches.

What does he pick? MvC2. Are you fucking serious? The whole time he's telling me how he knows how to do air combos, and use his assists, I'm lighting up a smoke not giving a shit. I'm thinking to myself of how bad I want to embarass this retarded dork. So he steps up, picks Ruby Heart, Hayato, and whoever the fuck(by this time I'm so engaged in thought about what I want to do to this kid in game that I'm not even paying attention)...I think it was IronMan(I swear I heard a "uni-beam"). WN declares that MvC2 takes absolutely "no skill" whatsoever. So I casually turn and go "if you were good at anything you play, you'd know whats going on n00b". He scowls at me and starts telling BN how Hayato is the "best character in the game".

.......

No shit. That's exactly what came out of his mouth.

So I let BN choose my team(since this is obviously going to be more than one match) and he picks Felicia,Hayato, and Cable(ya know, since "He's the worst in the game and is useless" according to the almighty WN). Yeah, you can just think about what happened if you've seen my vids. This kid sucked ass SO bad that I spent the first 20 seconds of in game time doing Felicias 'wall cling' while he fumbled around trying to hit me. We're talkin all kinds of bullshit. This kid was basically a practice dummy that sent his assists out every 2 seconds. But, let's get down to what happened that pissed him off shall we?

After demolishing his Hayato with Cable(this is after all kinds of MrWhitefolks style crazy bastard combos), Ruby Heart is his only Character left(mind you that WN has been screaming encouragement in my ear for BN the whole time and telling him what to do, thinking that I won't know how to counter-act it) and he decides she wants to start tossing the columns of fire. Yeah, you don't do that when your dealing with Hayato and 5 lvls of super meter.

-j.fk,dashin,wk,f+fp,b+fp,wp,wp,fp,qcf+fp(1hit) xx Dark Hayato, cancel with Felicia's kitty barage(which misses), and then do another cat gangbang and catch him mid air to finish the match.-



Me = 2
Nerds = 0


Black Nerd is just staring at the screen in utter amazement while White Nerd is jumpin on my balls asking me how to do the Dark Hayato super. I take a puff off of my smoke and ask WN why he wants to know if the game takes no skill. His response? You sure you wanna know? Are you really sure?

Ok then, I warned you.

"Cause that move will help me beat my brothers friends Cable!"

-Yeah, like a level3 super is going to stop the onslaught of a halfway good Cable player against Hayato. *shakes head* -

Fuckin anime dorks....
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