Self Control, Get Some.

So I'm taking a piss in the jon at work a few days ago when it hit me.

I had some stains on my shirt. Normally this would only happen every once in a blue moon(I mean, everybody has at least once dropped some food on their shirt)...but not today. This was the second day in a row that I've had some shit on my shirt. I've also been playing Ragnarok for the last couple of days.

Now I know that RO is the bastard child of the fanboy internet, but when a friend makes his own server, and gives me a free account and 4 million dollars on it...I ain't gonna say no to that shit.

So I walk out of the shitter and look around. What we have is 00Retard, 8-Ball, Shrooms, Johnny Short Bus, Dave and his girlfriend. Every dude in the room has a fucking stain on his shirt. Me, retard, and fatty have been playin RO. Dave has been playin Star Wars Galaxies. Shrooms is involved in Dark Age of Camelot. All rpgs, all stains (not to mention that fat kid and retard has some FOUL stank about them and they're dirty as fuck), all the time.

See, here's the theory. It's not that dirty people play rpgs. It's that the rpg makes the player dirty. Now you know me and I'll be the first one in line to call someone a dirty rpg playin homo-fag x2. There are a TON of people that are naturally social outcasts/goths/dorks/etc that just dont have good personal hygiene and in turn play the game smellin like "boogaloo and peanuts". But I've seen far too many normal fucking people that start out just like you and me(clean cut, not smelling like shit, etc) and after a few months of their favorite mmorpg they're stinkin the whole fuckin place up and they haven't combed their hair in fucking forever.

Here's how to find out if you need to lay off the games...

1)When you first wake up, what do you think of? If it's anything along the lines of "I wonder where my party is at" or "did i get enuf realm points last night" or even "NEED RUSH KEKEKEKEKE!!!!"

2)How many times have you stayed up for 2 or 3 days straight to do the good 'ol fashioned "exp grind"?

3)Do your nuts stick to your thighs? Does your vagina smell like a rotten cave of dead fish and cat litter?

4)Ever think about buying adult diapers so you don't have to run to the bathroom?

5)Got any friends? The online ones don't count btw.

6)Do you look like these fuckers?

7)You ever seriously think about going to a convention based on your favorite rpg?

8)What kind of job you got?(and no, writing fan fiction for the crossover of Who's the Boss and Golden Girls doesn't fucking count)

9)How long has it been since you shaved?(this applies to both male and female)

10)Are you over 25, and still living at home with mom, still a fucking virgin, AND not retarded?

and finally...

11)Do you wear a Nintendo Power-fucking-Glove 24/7 and think it gives you magical powers?

Yeah, what it takes to be able to balance these(like I do when I actually play them) is a fucking "off switch". Just like when you're dealin with some bitch and you know you can bust him in the face...but then all of a sudden that whole "let's not get tossed in jail" thing comes floating into your brain. Just like when your sittin in the movies and some fat bitch with kids is there screamin, and you could turn around and hit her in the face with a brick...but then that "causing a scene = bad". Self control. Get some.

MrWhitefolks
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