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Rant of the month...
Yo bitches, after much time spent away workin for cash to spend on the holidays n shit, I've jumped back on my pc in an attempt to pimp out somethin for all of you to get a kick out of.
Yes, that means what you think it does, I'm back with another full out diss-fest on the retards of the new millenium.
Well....that, and the fact that I'm bored out of my ass right now sorta inclines me to do a review/rant on a few aspects of gaming that haven't been touched upon in quite sometime by alot of people(especially people in the "biz" of games). What might this be you ask? Well, to put it bluntly, there are a few things that haven't been touched on in a looooooooooooonnnnnnnnng while in the "fan site/etc etc" game thing.
1)The emotional impact of characters in games, and how they effect the way the game flows.
2)Why certain people get attached to characters in games, and what compels them to do so.
and one I figured I'd just get all up in...
3)Why GTA3 is still the most played game at my house since it's release(been over a month+).
-WOO-HAA MUFUCKA!-
Ok, before I get to all the shit listed up above, here's the dilly as whats been goin on as of late in the world over here. Know how all the retards have been in full effect as of the holidays(as in driving, shopping, etc)? Well...it seems that the vast majority of them decide to shop at my store. Yep. All the old white people, gubment cheese eatin o.g's, and all the china buffets you could get your hands on have been in my store asking/doing the stupidest shit ever. Now, don't get me wrong...I like black people, they rock(especially the elderly ones). But when you roll into my store like 8 of your homies, and think I'm gonna let all of you look at a game at the same time(i.e...each one gets a game to hold) just so one of you can go use the bathroom(wink wink) and stuff the cd in your down jacket...are you fuckin corny? You think I won't pay attention to a group of gangsta lookin foo's that roll 8+ deep into a videogame store at 1pm? Come the fuck on now. Oh...and quit bringing us shit we don't need. We can't fuckin take cd's without the covers, or without the manuals, or if they look like you took a fuckin s.o.s pad and plugged it between yer asscheeks before you gave the fucker a good 'ol "Butt-Pliers-O-Doom". Oh, and don't act suprised if we can't take shitty games/stuff in crap condition aiight? You should know about this shit when you come into the store.
Oh...and if your gonna keep stealin shit from your nephews/cousins/whatever, at least steal the boxes/manuals with 'em ya fuckin newbies.
Asian people are badass too. But what we got here is a combination of stupid teenager retards(azn) and their inane ability to jump on a pc at the shop, download a hack for a game and then upload the fucker onto our pc. Now, this wouldn't be so bad if they took it off when they left...but now it's causing us to have to go back in and reinstall the majority of our shit. Another thing though, can all the korean kids quit jumping on our pc's for a 1/2 hour just to copy and steal the diablo 2 cd key? Jesus almighty, I know you niggas have internet wherever you play this shit from when your not at our store, so get on a crack site and get a god damn cd key generator. Fuckin lazy ass bitches. Oh yeah, almost forgot. Just because your "AZN" doesn't mean your good at what you play. You can't beat me in Tekken, not in MvC2, not in CS, and not in damn near anything else that has a joystick and some buttons. So get off your ass, get some skill, and quit hackin/stealin from us and you'll find out that you can get good if you just fuckin practice and stop tryin to take the easy way out(i.e...paul pheonix/akuma/awp/etc).
Oh, update on the cheat things...found out some one of my fellow pimps at the job(we'll call him Mr.Cardboard Box or MCB for short) caught some white guy installing the OGC hack on our pc's. What happens? The fuckin retard looked suprised when he got banned from using our pc's ever again....
Now picture this. You got a guy that is halfway decent at CS and can get headshots every once in awhile. He averages like 15-20 kills a map in like 30 minutes. Not a bad player, but not a great one either. But he comes in after being "gone on a 2 week desert eagle training session" and now he's scoring in the upper 60s to 90s in a 30 minute map? *ponders* Uh...can you say fucking cheater? Shit, if he gets 90+ on CS and can't get over 20 kills in D.O.D(day of defeat) using a sniper rifle; then sumthins all fucked up. Sorta reminds me of that "worlds stupidest criminals" thing. Where the jackass has a good plan, then fucks it up entirely by leaving out all the shit that we need to see to know that he's being a fucktard in plain daylight.
Man, some niggas just shouldn't own a fuckin computer.
-WHO'S THE ONE THAT'LL TAKE YOUR SINS IN EXCHANGE FOR A 40oz?-
-JESUS OF HARLEM!-
Anyhoo, lemme get a jump on the subjects I got flowin around up there in the top of the page. What in the hell compels a person to get attached to a fuckin video game character(male or female)? In some cases(most notably fighting games) they get attached at the manerisms of the character that would deem them as either "badass" or "cute" or "fuckin cool" or somethin of that nature. Some games tie on your emotions(such as the whole death scene in FF7 for like every rpg gamer ever...cept me, I didn't play it) around the story of the character. Some characters are just funnier than all living shit, and some are just well portrayed. Which makes me wonder why people in the biz never have really delved into this topic any deeper other than "who's your fav character from XX game?". I mean shit, I really want to know what the fuck makes someone attach to a game character. It baffled me for a long time and the closest I've come to getting attached to a character in any game was in MGS2 with the death of E.E. Even with the shitty voice acting, the way Kojima portrayed the physical and emotional breakdown of Otacon was well done to the point that all it had to be was text and no voice and it still would have worked. Other than that, I haven't gave 2 shits about any character in any game other than from the visual standpoint(Ooooooo DAMN! XX character looks fuckin badass!) and I would like your feedback on what quirks of a character get you attached to them. Fill a nigga in at
Hell...I guess that last paragraph took care of topic #1 and #2. So it's off to why GTA3 is the most played game at the pad as of late. Well to put it in an easy to understand statement...this game is the be all end all bowl of love for gamers. From pickin up bitches, to flippin switches(oh yeah baby...I'm a rhymin mufucka), this game has it all. INCLUDING GLITCHES. We've parked cars on top of absolutely NOTHING 300+ feet in the air, fired rockets thru walls, juggled pedestrians, done jumps of bullshit magnitude(like clearing a tramrail, and going past that then landing and jumping again clearing 4 cars and landing in the river). We've aimed at using all kinds of things to get the stupidest reactions possible. Sorta like how we made a cop dance. Oh, never seen that? Stay tuned for the next vid. You'll see whassup.
Other than that I gotta let it be known that I'm S-L-O-W-L-Y working on a new vid, but due to a full time job and the lack of drive to do anything other than kick it...it might be a little while. I have SO many games to go thru to make this vid, that it might not hit for another couple of months(I'm workin on 100% combos in a couple of games, and glitches, and funny stuff too). CvS2, MvC2, Fighters History Dynamite, Ranma 1/2 3(s.famicom), GTA3, MGS2, Groove on Fight, all kinds of shit. :)
So, what have we learned today? White people are n00bs. People get attached to game characters, GTA3 is the shit(I'm sorry, punching old ladies is fucking awesome...if only they had little kids in that game.), and people still recognize combos I made up over a year ago.
PEACE
MrWhitefolks |
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