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The Resident Evil 4 REview
Consider this the first and more than likely the only time you will ever read a review of a game written by yours truly, so enjoy it! For those of you who either don't know me, or haven't been told anything about me, there isn't much in this world that impresses or shocks me; thus the reason for this review.
If you haven't had the pleasure of playing Resident Evil 4, then I recommend you either borrow it from a friend, or hit up a video store and rent it, because it's the shit! Granted both RE2 and RE3 sucked a big fatty (in my opinion Code Veronica doesn't even exist), but 4 makes up for past mistakes in alot of ways.
For starters, the creators have added some new features that make gameplay a whole lot better, like action sequences and melee attacks when the enemy gets close (which must be prompted with button presses). Why hand-to-hand combat wasn't added is beyond me, and I don't know about you, but I would really like to see that as a staple feature if developers decide to make another RE. One feature I thought was madd oober is the weapon upgrades. Firepower, firing speed, reload speed, and ammo capacity can all be improved in each individual weapon by paying the proper amount to the merchant\arms dealer (also new). Because it costs money to buy different upgrades and weapons (on the off-chance you don't want to take the time searching for them) treasures must be accquired to be sold in exchange for cash.
As far as the story goes, it didn't really interest me much, but I'll summarize it anyway for those of you who give a shit about that kind of thing. The president's daughter, Ashely, has been kidnapped by a group of Spaniards in a farming community. After hours of deliberation by a panel of gpvernment officials, it was decided they would send in Leon (that's right the queer from RE2), the Gun-toting Policeman\One-Man-Army SuperCommando, to infiltrate the Burrito Bandits and bring Ashely back (apparently Leon is the best America has to offer).
MrWhitefolks shares his take on the situation: "Now I can understand stealthy guys like MGS's Solid Snake not needing much when going on a mission, but for some gung-ho Rambo motherfucker like Leon; who goes in BY HIMSELF to bumfuck nowhere to rescue the PRESIDENTS DAUGHTER...I'd expect more than TEN FUCKING BULLETS in my god damn handgun."
The purpose in kidnapping the president's daughter was to intravenously infect her with some kind of parasite that controls her body's behavior and motor skills, and then send her back to America to infect everyone else so the leader, Saddler, could control the minds of government officials and use American firepower(coupled with the virus-ish parasites) to take over the world (a concept that Pinky and The Brain never came up with).
Basically the story wasn't worth the paper it was printed on, but the game itself was way more action based than the previous releases, which a thought made the game better than any of the others. On the Mayonaize Scale of Sucktitude, I give it two "Harper-Double-FatKids" out of a scale of 10. One for the badly written plot and one for the mortifying voice actors.
Negative Mayonaize |
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